a walk in the park...

so i was sitting in union square today enjoying the best bubble tea in new york with a korean friend when i looked over to the guy sitting on the next bench to my left. he was hunched over, shoveling his lunch into his mouth, and i was suddenly struck by how incredibly lonely he looked. honestly, my heart sank in that moment.

isn't that so representative of new york? a sea of scared, lonely people. yet, we're all too caught up in our own loneliness to notice the desperation of the people around us--people who probably live less than 10 feet away from us on the other side of our apartment wall. we all think that if only we could solve our own loneliness first, then everything would be better--then we could serve God better, as long as our own needs are met first.

we sang this song at church this past sunday and it's been speaking to me all week on many different levels, which i'll highlight in bold. every verse is just so God-inspired. it's brilliant. desert song by hillsong united:

this is my prayer in the desert

when all that's within me feels dry

this is my prayer in the hunger in me

my God is the God who provides

this is my prayer in the fire

in weakness or trial or pain

there is a faith proved of more worth than gold

so refine me Lord through the flames

i will bring praise, i will bring praise

no weapon formed against me shall remain

i will rejoice, i will declare

God is my victory and He is here

this is my prayer in the battle

when triumph is still on its way

i am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ

so firm on His promise i'll stand

all of my life

in every season

You are still God

i have a reason to sing

i have a reason to worship

this is my prayer in the harvest

when favor and providence flow

i know i'm filled to be emptied again

the seed i've received i will sow

i was so dumbfounded that my korean friend had noticed and asked me if i was okay. although God had just broken my heart in that moment, i of course lied and told her i was fine. as we began walking to the subway, she asked me with tears in her eyes if i had cancer....

WHAT THE HECK?!

koreans are so dramatic. good thing she doesn't know this blog exists.